During these conversations, I try to keep a straight face. I try to be understanding. I try to retain my composure. But, really...no. No, you don't look 4 months pregnant. No, you don't feel like you're 8 months pregnant. And, don't even think about using this simile if you are a man. Period.
This is what 8 months pregnant looks like.
And, no amount of bloating can compare to what 8 months pregnant feels like. Trust me. You don't want to get me started. Yes, if you are a woman who has borne children, you have some idea, but let's face it...memories get hazy. You tend to gloss over the discomforts of pregnancy (which is why women do this whole pregnancy thing more than once).
And, if you are a man, you have no idea. Sorry. You can't understand until you go through it. So, don't even try to tell me you feel like you're pregnant. Pregnancy is a whole lot worse than some gas and bloating. And, when I share a good-natured chuckle, don't insist that you DO know. You are a man. Your body will never stretch to these proportions as you experience acid reflux, constipation, gas, bloating, abdominal pain, round ligament twinges, back pain, swollen feet and ankles...oh, too late...you got me started!
Come on, people.