Finding calm in the chaos

Finding calm in the chaos

Monday, March 29, 2010

the sleep deprivation diet

Miraculously, Andie is 6 weeks old and I am back to my pre-Andie weight. (Not my pre-Sam weight, but really, I'll probably never see those numbers again...unless I get pregnant and start the morning sickness diet, but let's not even go there).

How did I do it? Three words: sleep deprivation diet.

In the profound words of my husband: "Nothing tastes as good as sleep feels." Too true, too true.

The diet is simple, really.
1.Get yourself a newborn and the weight loss will take care of itself. The key, though, is to get a newborn who doesn't sleep. If you get a sleeper, it won't work. You find yourself making choices based on how they will affect your sleep. Do I get myself a snack or get 5 minutes extra sleep? Get up to pee or 2 minutes extra sleep? Shave my legs in the shower or 7 minutes extra sleep?

2. Andie can't tolerate dairy. This also helps. It takes quite a bit of energy to find nutritious sources of food that don't have dairy in them. We've tried soy yogurt, almond milk (yuck!), coconut milk ice "cream" (not bad), and goat's milk, goat cheese, goat yogurt; frankly, sipping black coffee at the table while I nurse the girl and feed the boy is easier than being creative about my own food choices.

3. Get a hungry who must nurse every 1-2 hours. Making milk is a great way to burn calories.

4. Get a colicky baby. You'll bounce her for 2 hours a night...great exercise.

5. Finally, throw a toddler in the mix. The toddler has to be super in jumping-off-the top-of-the-piano active. Take him to the park every day and chase him up and down the slide 500 times...while wearing a 12lb newborn strapped to your chest.

Yep, that should do it. Eat your heart out, Heidi Klum.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Weekly Wisdom: The RBO

We were headed to the park when it happened: Sam got an RBO (a Really Bad Owie...a term stolen from Randi's blog). To clarify, this is different than a BRO (a Bandaid-Requiring Owie).

An RBO makes Mom want to take Sam to the ER but we settled for calling the pediatrician instead and doing neuro checks for the next 24 hours.
Here it is up close.
It's not his first RBO. He actually got a similar goose egg almost a year ago, but that was on his Ninang's watch. This was on mine. He tripped over my tennis shoe in his excitement to go to the park. Plus, Uncle Brandon was here, so that just added to the mania that led to the accident.

Fortunately, all's well that ends well. He looks a little like Frankenstein these days, but the swelling went down the next day.

Weekly wisdom: According to Uncle Brandon, who was a very accident prone child and got many RBOs, frozen veggies work better to ice an injury than ice packs, which are hard and hurt the already sensitive RBO. I'm keeping lots of extra bags of frozen peas in my freezer from here until Sam graduates from high school.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Sam has a new trick: pushing the buttons on the car keys and making the horn go "beep!". His favorite time to do this is when I'm nursing Andie and can't grab the keys from him. Then, he pushes the button about 500 times in a row. Beep. Beep. Beep. Our neighbors love it. They're so glad we live next to them and park right outside their bedroom window. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Other new trick: he learned how to take off his own pants. Ah, the adventures of toddlerhood.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Sunday, March 21, 2010

'Teve &Teenie

Last Saturday, Joe & Sam drove to American Falls for an impromptu visit with 'Teve & Teenie (otherwise known as Steve & Christina to the rest of the world. Sam has a hard time with S's. "Ssss, like sss-nake, Sam. Ssss-teve! Ssss!").
They were picking up their truck that died near there during New Year's and planning to drive it back home. Sam was fighting his double ear infection and needed a nap. Andie & Mama had been up all night before with her 'tuffy nose and needed some toddler-free time. The perfect solution: a drive to American Falls with Dad.

Sam had a great time and when he came home, kept talking about 'Teve & Teenie (and trucks...but that's always a hot topic of conversation for him). They were a little surprised that Joe would drive all the way to American Falls, but 'Teve & Teenie are having a little one of their own soon (although you can't tell because Christina looks great and doesn't whine nearly as much as I did--ok, the girl doesn't even whine at all) and will soon understand the lengths a parent will go to to get their sick toddler to nap.

Sorry about the run-on sentences; we're still sleep deprived. That will be my standard excuse for the next 6 months. AFter that, I'll have to find a new one, I suppose.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Daddy's girl

The poor man doesn't even have time to shave because you make us so tired, but he still loves you so much.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

one month bear pictures

Andie, you're a month (well, 5 weeks) old! It has flown by so quickly. In the last month, you've...
  • gained 4lbs (way to go, Pudge! You're 10lbs 15oz).
  • gotten your first cold and double ear infection
  • started getting your days and nights unmixed up (thank you, thank you, thank you)
  • loved riding in the Baby Bjorn during afternoons at the park
  • and have grown into an adorable, chubby, one month old.
I can't believe your newborn days are almost over. I hope that means sleeping through the night is going to happen soon. (It probably won't, but a girl can hope, can't she?)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


We've been oh-so-tired. Both kids and then, mom and dad, have all been sick. Sick enough that I decided we're going to the clinic tomorrow so everyone can get better and Joe and I can get some sleep.

In the meantime, I was informed by a Mr. Kevin Eddy that no one reads my blog for my clever posts or witty all just want to see pictures of my kids.

Well, when you are sleep-deprived, you don't have time to take pictures either. So, I stole this one from Mandy's blog.

Catch you on the flipside.

Monday, March 15, 2010

things I'd never thought we'd say...

...until we became parents.
  • "Whoa! Look at that booger. Your mama is the best snot sucker in the world."
  • "Oops. Too much. That was a Sam-size portion of A&D. You have a whole lot less real estate down there, Andie."
  • "Yep. I grow 'em fat." (This was said to a skeptical woman who didn't believe Andie was only a month old.)
  • "Look! A bus! A truck! A tractor!" (On a date with kids present. Just force of habit.)

Friday, March 12, 2010

Lala & Andie

Lala & Andie...all dressed up and nowhere to go in the "tundra". Thanks for coming to visit us, Lala!
And, Mom has a tradition of taking pictures of her hands with her newborn grandchildren's hands. I think Andie's hands look a lot like my mom's, so I especially liked this photo.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


Grandma & Andie
Grandma & Sam
The woman is a godsend. She stays up late with Andie so we can sleep. She cooks. She entertains Sam. She changes diapers.

It's enough to make you think you could handle another child.

Not that we're thinking that. We're not that crazy.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

our third child

You know Child #1.
And, Child #2.
But, did you know we have a third child? Meet Child #3. This is Baby Bob.
He's named after Bob the Builder.
He's Sam's baby. Whenever Andie needs nursed/swaddled/changed, Bob also suddenly has the same needs. Sam takes care of him while I take care of Andie. It helps with the sibling rivalry...except Sam needs help taking care of Bob. So, while I'm swaddling/nursing/changing Andie, I'm also trying to one-handedly swaddle/nurse/change Bob. I'd say it's a lot like having twins...except Bob cries less and doesn't mind being poked in the eye as a real baby.

Actually, on second thought, it's much easier than having twins, if I remember right.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Monday, March 08, 2010

birth announcement

Born February 9, 2010, 1:58am
7lb 10 oz, 20 1/2 inches
Proud parents Jen & Joe Kaufman and big brother Sam

If you didn't get one in the mail, here's a virtual birth announcement for you to enjoy. Special thanks to Deanna for creating the layout, taking pictures, and putting it all together.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

milk break

It's not a glamorous job, being the mom of two small children.
Lots of diaper changing. Lots of nursing. Lots of Bob the Builder.
Cookies and chocolate milk help, too. (I'm not sure if they help the boychild or his mother more...).
My days of wearing slacks, dresses, heels, or fancy underwear have been put on hold.
Lately, my standard uniform has been yoga pants and a nursing tank. Jeans and a sweatshirt work, too.

Wouldn't trade it for anything, though.

Well, maybe a day in Maui. That might be nice.

Friday, March 05, 2010

one nursing pad

I woke up this morning and discovered I only had one nursing pad left. One. Not down to my last pair. Down to my last one...which wouldn't be a problem if I only had one boob. I laughed this off and cut a Maxi pad in half to solve the problem, congratulating myself on my ingenuity despite my profound sleep deprivation.

I should have taken this as an omen. A bad one.

Later, Mom Kaufman and I took Sam and Andie to feed the ducks and geese. We hopped back in the car after Sam got bit by a freakin' goose. I decided the mall would be a safer and warmer place to run off some energy. We had a great time. We played at the playplace. We played with trains. You know, our usual routine.

Then, it was time to go. We got our coats on and headed to the door. It was still snowing and windy outside so I dug for my keys before we left the building.

And dug for my keys. And dug for my keys. (You can see where this is keys. No keys anywhere).

Not at the playplace. Not in the stroller. Not in the huge diaper bag. Not in the coat pockets. Not at Barnes & Noble. Not under Andie's carseat. Not at mall security. Not in the parking lot. Not in the locked car (or at least what I could see).

Naptime was fast approaching and we were stuck at the mall with a hungry newborn and cranky toddler. Crap.

Fortunately, my friend, Mandy, came to our rescue. She has nothing better to do since she is raising 3 kids here in Idaho Falls while her husband is deployed in Afghanistan. I'm sure she was just sitting around, eating bon bons when she got my frantic call. Anyway, she drove us her minivan, complete with car seat for Sam.

Now, we had to get into the locked house. Normally, this would be no problem since I'd just go through the back door. However, we've had a ton of snow (this is Idaho Falls, after all...the "tundra"), and I couldn't get our back gate open. I tried to find a ladder to climb the fence with. No luck.

I decided to scale our neighbor's chain link fence. I haven't done that since I was about six years old. Let me tell you this: a chain link fence is a lot sturdier when you weigh fifty pounds rather than when you weigh...let's just say, a whole lot more (hey...I had a baby 3 weeks ago!). That fence buckled under my heft and threatened to buck me off...until it finally did. Fortunately, I caught the edge of our deck and eased my way to the ground.

I let myself in through the back and unlocked the back door. Unloaded the kids. And got Sam down for naptime just 30 minutes late.

Still no nursing pads, but I'm not venturing out again today...
...or maybe ever.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

movie star

Check out my hubby on the local news, talking about water supply. (Click the video link under the byline).

In other news, I'm surviving my first day home with 2 kids by myself. Joe is in Boise. Mom Kaufman arrives tonight. We went to the park with Andie in the front pack and splashed in puddles. Sam got his first owie that warranted a BandAid. Everyone is napping right now...everyone except the mom who can't sleep in the day time.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

the P-A-R-K

One of the advantages of living across the street from a park: you can leave your newborn with your Mom while you take your toddler to the park. Then, your mom just yells out the front door when your baby needs nursed. It's a beautiful system. Especially, when Andie sleeps the whole time.
Sam had a great time at the park. He's been going a little stir-crazy being in the house and not going to daycare every day.We played on the slide. Climbed the stairs. Sang songs.
And, only had a little bit of a meltdown when it was time to head back in for lunch.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010


Dear Andie,

Every night, I want to sell you to the gypsies.
"Sweet baby," I'd say. "Good price."

But, when morning comes, I fall in love with you all over again.

I'm not asking you to sleep through the night...
...I'm just asking you to sleep at night.

Just a for more than 30 minutes at a time.


the tundra

It's been a little cold this week. As Mom has said countless times, "Gosh, you guys live in the tundra!". She isn't acclimated to this weather, growing up in the Philippines and living in Lewiston (AKA the Palm Springs of Idaho).

Nevertheless, this postpartum mom and her crazy boychild were getting a little cabin fever, so we all decided to brave a walk on the greenbelt. It was icy and windy, but Sam had a fabulous time feeding the ducks (even if it is a little hard to throw bread when you have mittens on). His mom and Lala gasped when he tried to tackle a few ducks, but what can you do?
We all hope spring comes soon.