After three years of rearing a dirt-loving kid and his dirt-loving sister, I've learned a few lessons about playing in the dirt. Last week, Sam and Andie were playing in my Grandma's garden and, while I thought I was already an expert in dirt-playing, I learned a few new lessons.
Here is a comprehensive list of tips:
1. Dirt loves snot. Dirt and dried snot combined is more structurally sound that concrete. (Joe says it's like "JB Weld", but I'm not sure what that is). So, if your kid has a runny nose, make sure to wipe often or you will never get the dirt boogers out of his nostrils. He will have a perpetual ring of dirt around his nostril until you stick a wet wash cloth up there...and that's no fun.
2. Don't play in dirt that you would feel bad about being eaten. Dirt with fertilizer. Dirt shared with animals. That sort of thing. Andie eats all dirt. Every. Single. Time.
3. While dirt is fun to play with and relatively easy to clean up, mud is EVEN more fun to play with. But, infinitely harder to clean up. You go from brushing off dirt to scraping, knocking, banging and brushing away mud.
4. Banging light-up shoes together to knock mud off mostly just makes the shoes light up...like they're taunting you. (Joe taught me a brush works better).
5. When your daughter dumps a bucket of dirt on her hair, remember to brush her hair before throwing her into the bathtub. Again, BRUSH HER HAIR BEFORE GETTING INTO THE BATHTUB. Otherwise, the dirt turns to caked mud and you'll be washing her hair with muddy streams running down into her eyes. She'll be crying. You'll be crying (and scrubbing frantically). And, in the end, she'll still end up with little specks of dried mud clinging to her scalp. Then, you will have to tell daycare what happen, carefully emphasizing these are not some sort of lice, just mud, because that is the kind of mother you are.
Feel free to share your tips in the comments section.