But I made a turkey dinner anyway.
It was the best turkey I have ever made so I am posting all about it here
We typically have a smoked turkey that Papa Kaufman makes. His turkey is so delicious that we usually turn up our noses at regular turkey. But, because of my usual procrastinating ways, I failed to get him this turkey to smoke and so there I was, three days before Christmas, madly googling "easy turkey", "simple roast turkey", and "best places to order cooked turkey".
I made a rub and rubbed it under the skin:
I stuffed the turkey with one lemon, one lime and one onion. Next time, I would pierce the citrus fruit a couple of times with a fork. Then I tied the legs together with string. I put a couple of cups of chicken broth in the bottom of the roasting pan and put it in the fridge overnight.
In the morning, I sprinkled the outside of the turkey with salt and pepper then put the turkey in at 475 for 20 minutes. Then I decreased the oven to 250 and cooked it for 20 minutes per pound (about 6 hours all together).
The turkey was delicious and the dark meat was falling off the bone. When I got up at 4 am to put it in the oven, I forgot to cover it in my sleep deprived state so it got a little extra brown. Fortunately, Henry woke me up at 4:45am and I covered it at that point. If I had to do it over again, I would not cook it as long and I would uncover it for the last 20 minutes of cooking so the skin was crispier (per the recommendations of a blogger. As you know, everything on the Internet is true. You can't put it on the Internet if it's not true).
*The thyme spawned a lot of puns with my clever sister. "Are you sure you have thyme to cook this dinner?" "You know, I always feel like I'm running out of thyme, too." "It's thyme to carve the turkey now." The puns are easier to handle if you drink a Tom and Jerry's while you make dinner.