Finding calm in the chaos

Finding calm in the chaos

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Like a turtle on its back

Well, we have hit 35 weeks and 2 days and, frankly, I wish these guys would hurry up and get the heck out. My belly measures 47 1/2 inches around and my fundal height is 46 cm.

That's like being 46 weeks pregnant, folks.

Technically, my maternity leave starts Monday at 4:30pm, so it would be most convenient to go into labor at 4:31pm, but I am so huge and uncomfortable giving birth YESTERDAY would have been my choice.

Today, I tried to cope with my back, hip, neck pain/Braxton-hicks/cankles by taking a nap when Henry went down for one. Of course, as soon as I dozed off, Henry started to cry. Joe was out running errands so I actually had to do some hands-on mothering instead of my usual delegation. ("Hey, since you knocked me up with TWINS, why don't you get your son/let out the dog/rub my back/bring me a snack?)

Mid-nap Henry is a force to be reckoned with and I approached the crib with all the caution of a hostage negotiator. Fortunately, he was clear in his demands and I was happy to get him some milk and lay down on the bottom bunk bed until he fell asleep. Maybe we'd both get a nap.

Henry fell quickly back to sleep and I tried to get comfortable amongst Natalie's hoard of tiny pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, notebooks and pencils. Finally, I was able to roll on my side and wedge a few pillows around my large body for support.

Except then I didn't have enough room to turn back over.

I was facing the wall without anything to grab onto and didn't have enough headroom to sit up or move without squishing my large belly.

No worries....I'd just text Joe to come help me.

Except my phone was out of reach...behind me.

I was stuck. Like a turtle on its back. Like a beached whale. Like a pregnant mother of giant twins.

I wish these babies would just get OUT already!

Fortunately, Sam and Natalie started wondering where I was and sounded the alarm when Joe got home. He was able to extricate me from my cozy little nap den without having to break out the Jaws of Life...and without awakening Henry. He's a pro, that guy.

Crossing our fingers that labor will start soon.

1 comment:

lorettapox said...

46 weeks! Ack! There are so many things wrong with that. I can't even begin to imagine you're pain. Good thing you still have your sense of humor. :)